sammy's world

it takes a lot to stick to your own decisions.......
to know that what ever you have done is right!
to not care about what others think......................
yes but now i am happy , honestly, i am in many different ways , in different aspects and perspectives in different ways ways i must say...............
when you know what you are it is easy to understand that
here my search ends ...........................today i am free.......,in every sense of the word:
yet there is along way to go ,but this time i know where i am heading.
it makes things a lot easier,dosen't it?

i feel like going and killing anyone who comes in front of me........i hate this world.
why are people laughing at me? am i some kind of joke?
what is wrong with everyone.......?????
wtf?
why are some people blind enuf?
why am i not good enough?
why do people get away by teasing me?
why can't i say the right things at the right time?
is it leagal to kill som1?

~everyone bitches about everyone else.
~a true friend is the one who bitces to you about your faults and not telling others about it first.
~you do not find friends at the corner of each road they are rare, who stick to you till the last days of your trouble.
~a "gang of friends" is a group of people who bitch about others while discussing together ,and about each other whe present alone.
~love is something found in fairytales, story books or your friend's bed room.
~it is important to b nice to everone because these are the memories you take back home.

is it wrong to do what is right?
i guess not, but at times it si important to think before doing anything,instinct does not always pay off? does it?
at times i forget all your actions have more than a single consequence............
so i stand here again knowing what i have done but not knowing what it will mean to others ...
so who is the one at fault the one who has done the job or the one who takes it in the other sense?

i look around.......................real hard................searching for something real weird............................myself ,my entity, when i feel i have reached so close to it then do i realise i lost it all over again ,.......................so i search on listlessly ..............................amidst the ruins of nothingness.

life plays a weird game with you,you tend to have everything other than what you want ..................so i kept on wishing that i had what i did not, i still wish...............knowing well wishes never come true...............

some instants from my life ..................

i loved theatre....................irony .....................i cannot act.
i love music.........................sarcasm ......................i cannot sing.
i loved photography....................truth.....................i cannot click.
i loved modelling..........................bitterness...............i cannot pose.
i loved dancing.............................reality........................i cannot even move myself properly without tripping over the ropes.
i loved creativity........................i know.............................i lack abstractness.
so imsearch on through the ruins of myself........................knowing well that i will never find what i love the most..........................yet hoping for a miracle........................
compromise is neither acceptance , nor happiness,it a routine of life that follows you all the way long.